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Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Other Shoe

We've got a snow day! Again... I love living in North Dakota. If it's not hailing or flooding, it's a blizzard. Sorry I've been a little lax with my posts, but if you haven't heard, we've been battling mother nature this week. I do have to say one thing, though. It's been absolutely amazing to see the community come together. Only in the Midwest can you see this type of kindness. Check out what I mean at http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/03/red_river_flooding.html

So, anyway, I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop, right? I think it may soon. You see, I moved in with my boyfriend after knowing him only a month because we were so sure we were meant to be, and I didn't have money to get my own place and he wanted to take care of me. Things have changed a bit... due to my latest surgery, he saw a darker side of me as I took some of my pain out on him. It wasn't intentional... he was just the punching bag in front of me at the time. I was just basically bitching about the pain, but he took it as bitching at him. We really haven't been the same since.
No matter how many times I say "I'm sorry for taking it out on you" he just can't seem to forget about it. Like his image of me as the "loving girlfriend" has been tainted. I wish I knew how I could change this image in his mind. So frustrating thinking back on what we had and wondering if we'll ever find the same again. I just wanna rewind. If I had a clicker to just fast forward the past 6 weeks like it never happened and we could be exactly the same as before, I know we'd be that happy couple I remember.
So, if anyone has a magic clicker or a time machine out there, I'd love to talk! If not, I guess I'm just gonna have to deal.

1 comment:

Michelle said...

Sorry to hear he's not being a bit more forgiving. I do hate to say this, but relationships aren't butterflies and rainbows 24/7, and he needs to understand that. He would have seen the darker side eventually, just like I'm sure you will. I'm hoping you two can work through this and come out stronger for it. Good luck hon.