The Other Shoe

We've got a snow day! Again... I love living in North Dakota. If it's not hailing or flooding, it's a blizzard. Sorry I've been a little lax with my posts, but if you haven't heard, we've been battling mother nature this week. I do have to say one thing, though. It's been absolutely amazing to see the community come together. Only in the Midwest can you see this type of kindness. Check out what I mean at http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/03/red_river_flooding.html

So, anyway, I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop, right? I think it may soon. You see, I moved in with my boyfriend after knowing him only a month because we were so sure we were meant to be, and I didn't have money to get my own place and he wanted to take care of me. Things have changed a bit... due to my latest surgery, he saw a darker side of me as I took some of my pain out on him. It wasn't intentional... he was just the punching bag in front of me at the time. I was just basically bitching about the pain, but he took it as bitching at him. We really haven't been the same since.
No matter how many times I say "I'm sorry for taking it out on you" he just can't seem to forget about it. Like his image of me as the "loving girlfriend" has been tainted. I wish I knew how I could change this image in his mind. So frustrating thinking back on what we had and wondering if we'll ever find the same again. I just wanna rewind. If I had a clicker to just fast forward the past 6 weeks like it never happened and we could be exactly the same as before, I know we'd be that happy couple I remember.
So, if anyone has a magic clicker or a time machine out there, I'd love to talk! If not, I guess I'm just gonna have to deal.

In a mood...

I'm in one of those moods... you know the one... feelin' like gettin' a little silly, a little crazy, got a little evil smile on my face. Just add wine and tonight could be quite an adventure! I only wish I didn't work in the morning. :( It's all part of working retail, though. I make some pretty good sales on the weekend, so I guess it's just something I gotta deal with.

Anyway, back to this mood I'm in. I feel kinda out of sorts lately. I have this wonderful guy who loves me and whom I love, I'm almost done with my very amicable divorce, I have a wonderful family who supports me, and I'm healing nicely from my latest back surgery. But there's just something I can't put my finger on... Maybe I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Things are just too good... It's inevitable for me to have something not right. Or, maybe I'm just imagining things... Maybe next week I'll figure it out, but for now, I'm gonna go out and celebrate the fact that my life is finally taking a turn for the better. I am still on a few good drugs, after all. Paranoia is a funny thing.

From Concert Withdrawls To Concert Disappointment

It had been over three months since I saw a band in concert and was so excited to see one of my favorite bands, "Shinedown" live last night. The opening acts, "HaleStorm" and "Saliva" totally rocked the house! We were on the floor, practically touching the stage and the sound was amazing! Then came time for the headliner. After half an hour of waiting through set change, the first two songs were great! The sound was mastered wonderfully! Then it all went downhill from there. They kept bumping the volume until all you could hear is distortion, and the lyrics were lost.

It hurts my heart. I absolutely love this band! The lead singer has a voice to die for, but if they drown him out, what's left? So sad. It was the first time I've ever left a concert early. Only one other time have I been this disappointed after a live show... "Garbage", a band I loved in the 90s. They almost ruined concerts all together for me. I have a feeling I'll be weary in the future to see another beloved band. Too bad a few bad eggs can ruin the bunch.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna stop listening to the albums, but a little respect is lost. If you've never heard these bands check out their pages. http://halestormrocks.com/ , http://www.shinedown.com/ , http://islandrecords.com/site/artist_home.php?artist_id=301

I am glad to say that I got to meet Lizzy Hale, lead singer/guitarist for "HaleStorm" (this chick can wail) and she was so genuine and happy to meet every fan. It's these bands that make the concert experience so great! I really look forward to the day they make it big and truely believe they will!

Stuff, Glorious Stuff

Ever notice how much stuff you accumulate over time if you're not careful? I lived in the same apartment for almost 8 years and still never unpacked all my boxes from the move there. Now, as I pack once again, it seems I'm weary of throwing anything out, yet I know the same will happen with some of these boxes. I guess I'm a pack rat. It's in my genes. Just ask my mom, but not while dad's around. I wouldn't want to start a fight.

You'd think I'd be more organized with my keepsakes, working in a photo/scrap booking shop and all. But I find little things all over that I intended to scrapbook so many times, and never found the time(or never pulled my butt away from the TV/computer screen long enough) to do.

I do hope this time I can do it right. I'm impressed already, at how I've labled boxes and done pretty well so far, but I know as I get down to the last boxes it's all gonna go out the window so I can get back to my TV/computer time. Who am I kidding... I'm a lost cause.

Happy State Darts Weekend!

I'm happy this weekend is State team Darts competition in town, but sad at the same time. Because of my surgeries I haven't been able to compete this year. I guess I'll just mill around the hotel ballroom saying hi to old friends with a drink in hand(sounds like any other year, so far) but without a team to throw with? Will be different! I guess I'll just have to be a cheerleader this year. We all need our little cheerleaders in life, right? It's my turn!

Who am I?

I'm having kind of a "where in the world do I fit" day. It just seems I live this life in a bit of a lifeless coma. I don't do much but explore the Internet universe (blogs, a few gaming sights, websites) and watch some prime time TV and call it a day. If I have a day off work, I revel in the fact that if there's nothing pressing I have to do that day, I can spend it in my jammies, or maybe shower sometime afternoon.
Do I have to be an "upstanding pillar of my community"? Or start volunteering my time at a shelter because I sometimes have spare time? Can I just be a slob sometimes? Does it make me a bad person to just lye around the house and do nothing productive?
It's actually the best day of my week when I have a day like that. I may be a bit of a social outcast, or dare I say, loser, but I'm pretty much OK with that. What am I gonna do? Go out to the bar and get hammered? Or worse, sit at home alone and get hammered? I guess I'm just realizing that life is mine to do with it what I may. And I may stay in my jammies and watch TV all day today. Sounds heavenly to me. Have a comment, please share.

Random Tuesday

I'm gonna try something new... I usually analise and re-analise everything before I publish a post, but today I'm just gonna ramble and see where it gets me.

I got to watch my first episode of late night with Jimmy Fallon last night since I could sleep in a bit this morning. I was suprised how natural he was! It almost seems as if he was made for the gig. I'm excited to see more from him and am still sad at the idea of Leno leaving because Conan will never measure up in my book.

Another thing on my mind this morning, this whole time change thing. I understand it's supposed to give us more daylight, but WTH? Can't we just accept what nature gives us? What gives us the right to play with time? It seems a little like playing God to me. I mean, why must we lose an entire hour of our lives when there already are too few hours in a day?