New Attitude

It's been a long time... My life has been turned upside down, sideways, and backwards in the last 6 months. Trying to get back on your feet after such a thing is difficult, but I'm happy to say not impossible. I think I may be ok after all. I'm thankful for my family who is always looking out for me even when I wish they would give me space. I've learned who my real friends are and are not. It's amazing how looking from the outside in makes us re-evaluate everything. I'm now a single woman again living away from my family and trying to make it on my own. I'm happy to say I'm accepting and actually embracing this fact! This new attitude will hopefully be a positive twist for my life. Only time will tell.

The Shoe Just Keeps Dropping

You know that scene in Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, where the two of them just fall, and fall for what seems like an eternity? This is my life. I feel like I'm spiralling out of control. It's official. T and I are through. I packed up all my stuff and moved in with mom and dad. But, on the bright side, if there is one, I'll probably have a healthier outlook on life now that I'm not being treated like shit on a daily basis. There's only so much a girl can take...
So, I'm apartment hunting and hoping to find something that won't break the bank, but that isn't a dump, either. I know-can't be done. But I'm trying to be optimistic.
Another bright note... it's finally stopped snowing after dumping 22 inches. As soon as my car is back in one piece, I just hope I won't get stuck. Plows are working hard, so should be a-ok by that time.

I've got time on my hands

I'm stuck inside all day for the snow and the fact I wrecked my car yesterday(pretty sure the bumper should be attached), so I'm finally taking some time to learn about this whole blogging thing and how it all works. I've wanted to add some videos, photos, music and such, but never knew how... so here's a few new items. Please also check out my new blip.fm tool(look up).

Also, my twitter habit is being nicely fed today. Thanx to all this free time I've also discovered tweetdeck-love it! well, back to new discoveries.

The Other Shoe

We've got a snow day! Again... I love living in North Dakota. If it's not hailing or flooding, it's a blizzard. Sorry I've been a little lax with my posts, but if you haven't heard, we've been battling mother nature this week. I do have to say one thing, though. It's been absolutely amazing to see the community come together. Only in the Midwest can you see this type of kindness. Check out what I mean at http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/03/red_river_flooding.html

So, anyway, I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop, right? I think it may soon. You see, I moved in with my boyfriend after knowing him only a month because we were so sure we were meant to be, and I didn't have money to get my own place and he wanted to take care of me. Things have changed a bit... due to my latest surgery, he saw a darker side of me as I took some of my pain out on him. It wasn't intentional... he was just the punching bag in front of me at the time. I was just basically bitching about the pain, but he took it as bitching at him. We really haven't been the same since.
No matter how many times I say "I'm sorry for taking it out on you" he just can't seem to forget about it. Like his image of me as the "loving girlfriend" has been tainted. I wish I knew how I could change this image in his mind. So frustrating thinking back on what we had and wondering if we'll ever find the same again. I just wanna rewind. If I had a clicker to just fast forward the past 6 weeks like it never happened and we could be exactly the same as before, I know we'd be that happy couple I remember.
So, if anyone has a magic clicker or a time machine out there, I'd love to talk! If not, I guess I'm just gonna have to deal.

In a mood...

I'm in one of those moods... you know the one... feelin' like gettin' a little silly, a little crazy, got a little evil smile on my face. Just add wine and tonight could be quite an adventure! I only wish I didn't work in the morning. :( It's all part of working retail, though. I make some pretty good sales on the weekend, so I guess it's just something I gotta deal with.

Anyway, back to this mood I'm in. I feel kinda out of sorts lately. I have this wonderful guy who loves me and whom I love, I'm almost done with my very amicable divorce, I have a wonderful family who supports me, and I'm healing nicely from my latest back surgery. But there's just something I can't put my finger on... Maybe I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Things are just too good... It's inevitable for me to have something not right. Or, maybe I'm just imagining things... Maybe next week I'll figure it out, but for now, I'm gonna go out and celebrate the fact that my life is finally taking a turn for the better. I am still on a few good drugs, after all. Paranoia is a funny thing.

From Concert Withdrawls To Concert Disappointment

It had been over three months since I saw a band in concert and was so excited to see one of my favorite bands, "Shinedown" live last night. The opening acts, "HaleStorm" and "Saliva" totally rocked the house! We were on the floor, practically touching the stage and the sound was amazing! Then came time for the headliner. After half an hour of waiting through set change, the first two songs were great! The sound was mastered wonderfully! Then it all went downhill from there. They kept bumping the volume until all you could hear is distortion, and the lyrics were lost.

It hurts my heart. I absolutely love this band! The lead singer has a voice to die for, but if they drown him out, what's left? So sad. It was the first time I've ever left a concert early. Only one other time have I been this disappointed after a live show... "Garbage", a band I loved in the 90s. They almost ruined concerts all together for me. I have a feeling I'll be weary in the future to see another beloved band. Too bad a few bad eggs can ruin the bunch.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna stop listening to the albums, but a little respect is lost. If you've never heard these bands check out their pages. http://halestormrocks.com/ , http://www.shinedown.com/ , http://islandrecords.com/site/artist_home.php?artist_id=301

I am glad to say that I got to meet Lizzy Hale, lead singer/guitarist for "HaleStorm" (this chick can wail) and she was so genuine and happy to meet every fan. It's these bands that make the concert experience so great! I really look forward to the day they make it big and truely believe they will!

Stuff, Glorious Stuff

Ever notice how much stuff you accumulate over time if you're not careful? I lived in the same apartment for almost 8 years and still never unpacked all my boxes from the move there. Now, as I pack once again, it seems I'm weary of throwing anything out, yet I know the same will happen with some of these boxes. I guess I'm a pack rat. It's in my genes. Just ask my mom, but not while dad's around. I wouldn't want to start a fight.

You'd think I'd be more organized with my keepsakes, working in a photo/scrap booking shop and all. But I find little things all over that I intended to scrapbook so many times, and never found the time(or never pulled my butt away from the TV/computer screen long enough) to do.

I do hope this time I can do it right. I'm impressed already, at how I've labled boxes and done pretty well so far, but I know as I get down to the last boxes it's all gonna go out the window so I can get back to my TV/computer time. Who am I kidding... I'm a lost cause.